I will be starting college in a couple of weeks. It's a bit scary at my age to take on what I should have accomplished years ago. Although I completed a year and a half of college once upon a time I will be starting as a Freshman because the credits won't transfer since that was more than 10 years ago.

Upon registering for classes I found that I am required to take a college 101 course that is designed for Freshman entering college for the first time. Begrudgingly, I registered because it is a requirement...but only because I have to take it. I received my text book this week and began reviewing it to see what's in store for what I thought would be a very boring and unecessary course. I was suprised to discover that this course will not only be an intersting class but also a very necessary one for someone who has been out of the academic circuit as long as I have.

The course is pretty much a 12 step program for succeeding in a college atmosphere. It amazed me to find some of the same principal teachings of Celebrate Recovery enclosed in this course. I wanted to share an excerpt from the book that I found to hit right at home for me, the co-dependent.

1. When I believe, I can't acheive my goals by myself, I choose dependence.
2. When I believe, I have to help other people get their goals before I can pursue my own goals, I choose co-dependence. 3. When I believe, by working hard, I can get some of what I want all by myself, I choose independence.
4. When I believe, I know I can get some of what I want by working alone, but I'll accomplish more and have fun if I give and receive help, I choose interdepence.

I'd like to add one more to the mix:
5. When I believe, I know I can get what God wants for me, but I'll accomplish more and have fun if I give and receive help while trusting fully in God's will for my life, I choose God-dependence.

With co-dependence, dependence and independence giving and receiving are out of balance. The co-dependent gives too much. The dependent person takes too much. The independent person seldom gives or receives. The interdependent finds a healthly balance of giving and receiving, but often times may find that what they want is not what God wants for them, therefore creating new problems. Interdependence combined with God-dependence is my chosen means for success.

Summer 2010

It's been awhile since I've posted anything on this blog. I didn't think I would do well keeping up with it, but it's nice to have for when I get around to blogging.

Summer is upon us and I have a lot planned for both me and Morgan. We will be visiting the Library once a week as well as the YMCA. Morgan will continue gymnastics and she will also be in a Summer program during June and July to help her practice some of the stuff she learned this school year and to keep her sharp for the upcoming school year.

Other plans for the summer are to continue our ministry, Celebrate Recovery, at our church. We meet weekly and it is an awesome ministry to help others overcome their hurts, habits and hang ups. VBS is in June as well. I haven't been asked to help and have been faithfully avoiding those whom I know may ask...LOL but Morgan will be attending, so it will be a nice evening break for us.

Ian and I will be attending a marriage conference the weekend of June 4th which happens to be our 16th wedding anniversary. I am excited about this weekend because like most marriages, it is helpful to take time to focus on and renew the marriage. I will do my best to blog about it after we get home.

I will be taking Morgan to my parents in June for a week to help dad with filling out his disability forms and to go to some doctors appointments with him. He was recently told by an optometrist that he is 100% blind in his left eye, needs a cornea transplant, has cataracts in both eyes as well as glaucoma in both eyes. He had an opthamologist review his records and was told that he may not be able to get a cornea transplant at all since his left eyelid doesn't close and he has no muscles in that eyelid. I think he was hoping to get this taken care of and get back to work, but I'm not sure that's going to happen if he can't have the surgery.

I am starting school in the fall to work on getting a nursing liscence. Well, that's if I can get all the financial part worked out. I have been wanting to go back to school to become a nurse for years and now is the perfect time. I trust that God will work out the finances and if they don't work out, then I know it is not His will.

Anyway, I am excited for this summer and spending some time with Morgan. Sleeping in late, playing and having fun together. I hope your summer is fantastic!

Peace be with you!

The Shack

Well, our closing was rescheduled to Wednesday because the banks processing departments comptuers were down all day today. So, here we sit and wait a little longer. AARRGG!


On another note, I have been reading "The Shack" by William P Young and I have to admit that it is one of the most unique christian novels I have ever read. To give a brief synopsis, the story revolves around one mans journey to understanding God after his daughter is abducted during a family vacation and presumed to have been murdered. The main character, Mack, struggles with a deep anger toward God for "allowing" this to happen to his daughter. Four years later, he receives a suspicious letter, apparantly from God, inviting him back to the scene of the assumed murder (a shack in the middle of the mountains) for a weekend.


Mack decides to go, despite his better judgement. That weekend turns into a journey that changes his life forever.



Although I am sure there are several "technical" issues with the accuracy of this novel (not that I read novels for the purpose of accuracy) I have thus far found it to be a insight into the love of God unlike any I have ever experienced. The author successfully portrays God (God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit) as approachable and down to earth with a great sense of humor. He portrays God as such a loving person and really makes sense of the mystery of the trinity.


I'm about 3/4 thru this book and already I feel like I want to know God more. I think that is amazing. Many have compared this book to "The Pilgrims Progress". I would disagree. I have read "The Pilgrims Progress" and I did not get nearly the same results spirtually as I have with this book.


There are some things in this book I have had a hard time with though. Although I understand why God portrays himself to Mack as an African American Woman, it's still hard to swallow and just so against everything I have ever been taught or know. References to God as she instead of he, or her instead of him are just not what I have been accustomed to. I do find the idea of God revealing himself to Mack in the way that would best meet the needs of His child at that time to be a pretty awesome idea though.


One particularly enlightening moment in the novel is where Mack is talking to Jesus about "institutions". Jesus explains that he does not create institutions. That it is from the imagination of man. He says the 3 institutions that have terrorized human beings are religion, politics and economics. I won't spoil how he explains this by writing about it on here, but I would highly recommend that you pick up a copy of this novel. Even if you don't agree or believe everything in it, it is still just an overall enlightening, heartwarming and interesting story.

What's up with the Kille's

We are getting ready to close on our very first house on Monday. I am so excited I haven't been able to sleep very well. I lay in bed at night and imagine where I'm going to place my furniture, what it will be like to live in this new house and how easy it will be to do the laundry without having to go up and down stairs ("yeah!")

I have posted a few pics of our new home :)

We have rented for so many years, that I do have some fears as to how we will adjust to owning our own home. First of all there's the issue of maintenance. It's not something we've EVER had to worry about. When the dishwasher breaks or the pipes freeze, we simply call the management office and they send someone over to fix it. It is a know fact that Ian and I neither one are the best at taking care of things. My idea of fixing something is to duct tape it. I do hope that we don't wind up being in the Guiness book of world records for having the house with the most duct tape on it.

The second thing that causes anxiety is the idea that we have BOUGHT this house. We can't just decide that if we don't like our neighbors we can just move. In the 14 years we have been married we have lived in 9 different houses, apartments and townhomes. When we got tired of the "view" or the neighbors or just had a desire for a change of scenery, we just moved. I don't think that would be a good idea when buying, so I guess the best solution to this problem is to get a Lowe card and keep painting the walls when the boredom of the scenery gets too much to handle.

The third thing that causes anxiety is the financial commitment. I'm not sure where it comes from, but for some reason I feel a great deal of anxiety over any kind of financial commitments. I don't even like signing a contract for cell phone service. I've never had this issue with relationships, but for some reason I always have with money.

There are some woderful things that I am very excited about though, which greatly outweigh those little things listed above. We started looking for a church to attend as soon as our offer was accepted on this house and have found a wonderful church that we hope to continue going to. It is about 1 mile from the house and we have already met a family that will live about 4 doors away who also attend that church. They have a little girl about Morgan's age, so we are very happy about that.

Also, the schools are among some of the best in the whole state of Indiana. The school Morgan will be attending is a four star school with an excellent cirriculum and wonderful staff.

Probably the best thing about this house is the location. We will be right on Geist resevior which is a beautiful lake and there are actually some hills in the area and it gives it more of the look and feel of the scenery of Tennessee that we miss so much. No, there are no mountains, but there are hills and trees. It's not quite as flat as some of the other areas in Indiana. I love the are and the location.

Keep praying for us, especially on Monday. I just hope FHA doesn't decide to stop giving loans on Monday morning.

Greetings and Salutations

Welcome to the world of the Kille family. I hope to be able to keep up with this blog. Please feel free to send comments or suggestions for blogs.